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Teenagers

Puberty is an intense phase full of questions, challenges, choices and expectations. Adolescents take risks, push boundaries and express their opinions. This can lead to conflict with parents and teachers, while at the same time they try to find their own identity and long for acceptance and appreciation for who they are and what they do

Teenagers

It is therefore valuable for both parents and adolescents to receive help and support in navigating this turbulent period. This can help you communicate effectively with your teenager and provide them with the tools and strategies needed to develop healthy emotional and social balance.

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Adolescent brain: boundaries and agreements

During puberty, a child’s brain undergoes a true revolution, which can cause it to temporarily become ‘unreasonable’. Although an adolescent already feels very mature, he or she cannot yet see the full consequences of his or her actions. That is why clear boundaries and agreements are crucial in this phase, even if the adolescent is not always ready for this. Well-intentioned interest from parents can be experienced as nagging by the adolescent, and the child often longs for nothing more than to be left alone.

The changes in the adolescent brain often cause emotions to be more intense and impulsivity to increase. This makes it more difficult for adolescents to make rational decisions and think ahead. Parents play an essential role in this by providing structure and guidance, so that the adolescent can develop within safe frameworks. It is important that parents remain consistent and patient, even if the adolescent resists the imposed rules. In this way, adolescents learn responsibility and self-control, which helps them in the transition to adulthood

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“A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.”

– Laozi

Adolescent Coaching Program & Individual Conversations

During the conversations in practice, we first investigate what exactly is going on that is causing your son or daughter to feel unwell and exhibit “problem behavior”. We will then look together at the possibilities to change this.

Many teenagers exhibit extreme behavior when they are not doing their best. They often have difficulty with structure (such as homework and appointments), feel insecure, seem to show little interest in hobbies, receive little positive attention, do little or no sports, find it difficult to maintain social contacts and often feel misunderstood and undervalued.

An important factor can be integrating a new activity (hobby) that your child enjoys. During the conversations we discover what your son or daughter’s (hidden) talents are, which they can already enjoy. After all, when you regularly do something that you are good at and that you enjoy, the world already looks very different.

What is important when dealing with teenagers is respect, real attention and acceptance. Adolescents react extremely sensitively to a lack of this. It is my experience that with these three conditions everything always goes well between the adolescent and the supervisor. Find the key to the teenager’s entrance gate and discover what he or she wants to go for. And if they don’t want to go for it, that’s okay too. Ultimately, they practice growing up with their own lives. But when there is real contact, something is created and there is almost always movement in what we adults call the right direction.

Although struggling towards independence is a normal process, puberty is a difficult period for everyone involved. Young people can benefit from conversations with an independent adult who takes them seriously, guides and supports them in the process of becoming an adult. And in line with this, support can also be offered to their parents/educators. Many parents are annoyed by their teenager’s passive attitude, but ‘hanging on the couch’ does have a function. On the outside it may look like doing nothing, but on the inside we are working hard.

“Children growing up can afford everything. That's exactly what they can't do. They're just not aware of it."

– Anne Frank

Common problems during puberty include:

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Lack of motivation, not wanting to go to school, concentration problems, feelings of depression, loneliness, the feeling of being “lost.”

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Difficulty adhering to rules.

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Lack of interest in activities.

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Difficulty functioning within the family.

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Difficulty keeping appointments.

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Difficulty resisting temptations such as smoking pot, drinking, parties, and skipping school.

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Problems making social contacts.

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Low grades at school.

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Suffering from fears.

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Outbursts of anger and aggressive behavior.

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Have a big mouth.

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Difficulty with changes.

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Threat to run away from home or have already done so.

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Striving for more self-confidence, less stress, being able to stand up for yourself better, and less fear of the opinions of others.

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Aim for fewer problems, less worry/worry, better sleep.

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Striving for more fun and better communication.

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Problems with low self-esteem, emerging eating disorders, self-harm (self-cutting).

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Adverse sexual experiences, such as sexual misconduct, assault or rape.

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Working methods for teenagers

Solution-oriented Coaching: we focus on what is going well and set achievable goals together.

Motivational Interviewing: we recognize the adolescent’s autonomy and discover their own motivation.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: We work on changing negative thoughts and behavior.

Narrative Therapy: we restructure life stories and make problems open for discussion.

Mindfulness and Stress Management: we learn relaxation techniques such as breathing exercises and meditation.

Parental involvement: We improve communication between adolescents and parents and, if necessary, involve the family in the process.

Creative Methods: We encourage self-expression through art, drama and role play

Practical Skills: we help adolescents gain important life skills and work experience.